Restless Wanderings

Bruce, my old friend.

Is Jesus Christ the Son of God?
Is there any other way to God?

A forgiven sinner,
Brian Gordon

Maybe

Yes

Bruce

Hi Bruce,

I am a 1976 graduate of MBC. I am sorry I did not get a chance to meet you. I appreciate your honesty. I do not believe you can be a balanced believer unless you question your faith.

The problem that many people have is they mix 'fundamentalism' with 'legalism'. I no longer refer to myself as a 'fundamentalist' because of this misperception. Most of the people I know from our backround have not abandoned God but all the rules and restrictions added to make us good Christians. The tragedy is that like yourself many have left the church instead of standing up and challenging the destructive tenants of religiousity and legalism.

I appreciate your intellectual honesty in saying "you are no longer a practicing Christian". I think you are much closer to understanding what real chrisitanity is than those who believe that following rules and dogmas!

Well I have bloviated enough! I look forward in hearing from you and reading your blog. I am praying that you will always know that God exists and loves you no matter what you are struggling with.

Mike Shanlian

Hey Mike,

You went to school with my father-in-law, Lee Shope. Your brother Dave was in the dorm the same time as I was. Same wing for that matter.

I have often wondered where I might have ended up IF I had begun my life in a more progressive, liberal form of Christianity. The same goes for politics. Politics are often fused with religion and it is hard to distinguish the two at times. Even when I was pastoring my politics gradually shifted left as I realized that the gospel had social implications. This caused quite a bit of trouble for me in the Republican dominated Churches I pastored.

All I know to do is walk the path before me. Be open and honest with what I find. I am certain the path will never circle around to Midwestern :) but outside of that, who knows?

I do want to visit a Unitarian Church in nearby Fort Wayne. On my must-do list for 2010.

Thanks for commenting, Mike! Most Midwestern alum are not so charitable to me. (and I suspect me towards them at times)

Bruce

Hi Bruce,

It certainly is a small world. I often wonder what happened to many of the guys I went to school with. I do check out the schools face book site from time to time but most of the participants are more recent graduates. If the truth were known I believe many former students and alums have questioned much of what they were taught. I believe the basic focus at MBC was fine. But it became entangled with KJV onlyism and legalism that turned off thinking people like us.

You are right in feeling hurt and frustrated with some of the unthinking kool-aide drinkers that attended MBC who never had an original thought in their life. I am reminded what Jesus said about "working out you own salvation in fear and trembling". Becoming a Christian is a simplistic act. Learning how to be a Christian takes a life time. It is inexcusable for any Christian no matter where they fall in the theological spectrum to berate or belittle a believer or seeker. Some where the Fundamentalist got it in their head that the primary virtue in life is to be truth detectors instead of loving unconditionally as Jesus does.

Some of the most cantankerous, mean spirited, ungracious people stand behind pulpits, teach Sunday School and sit on Church boards. Over the years God began teaching me that I was not as smart as I thought and I could learn and benefit from everyone. At age fifty-six I am far more gracious and forgiving of others because God has lavished His forgiveness on me over the years. I wasted to many years labeling and pigeon holing people that my compassion turned to contempt.

How is Polly and her parents? My wife and I really loved that family and we think about them often. They are good people. I looked to Cecil that is what I called him as a father. Thanks for reading my ranting's. Looking forward to staying in touch and reading more of your thoughts!

Blessings,

Mike

Mike, I'm sure Bruce will want to reply (and I should let him first, perhaps,) but having come from a fundamentalist background, I know approximately where you are coming from.

To make my point short, in the years between when I started questioning my faith (in high school after reading the entire Bible for a missions trip) and when I stopped calling myself a Christian, I also stepped away from fundamentalism and into a much more human experience as a Christian. The non-demon churches I went to were welcoming and sincere, did great work in the community and worshipped "in spirit and in truth". I learned a lot and healed a lot there. If there is a such thing as the "real christianity" you claim to have a grip on, that was it.

But there came a time when it wasn't the Christians that were the problem, it was the fact that I couldn't bend my conscience to the God represented in the Bible. I couldn't believe any longer, as a thinking person, that praying a prayer called down a 2000-year old spell that "forgave sins" that I myself am responsible for in this lifetime, or that I would have to teach my children that lying to Mommy murdered an innocent person 2000 years ago, and that this is God's justice. That just... well, take a good look at it, and even the most devout believer will have to chuckle. You either believe it, or you don't. And I just don't.

The fundamentalists stand on the actual text of the book they believe in. And that book, taken in its entirety as literal and inerrant, promotes actions I find to be disturbing and reprehensible. I am free to stand in judgement of that, and so are you. I chose to take responsibility for what I said I built my life upon. And I couldn't choose religion, because ultimately, I would have to pass the buck to someone else for the life I live instead of doing it well, mindful of my own and everyone else's right to be here.

OK, so this turned out to be longer than a short point. Bruce will be much better at this, I'm sure; we all have our stories though. :)

As you can see, this is me, not "struggling"-- as you assert I must be for leaving behind something you value. That stopped for me long ago, and then I realized that the struggle had been making all the faith make sense.

Hi Angela,

Thank-you for your articulate response! As I told Bruce, I respect anyone who takes a good hard look at what they have been taught. God created us with intelligence and a will. He does not force any of His creatures to follow Him. I like what Mark Twain said about Scripture, I paraphrase, " It is not the things I don't understand in the Bible that bothers me, it is the things I do understand". Mark Twain,s wife was a devoted Christian but later in life turned away because of Twain's agnosticism.

I know that much of the Bible is difficult to swallow. No reasonable person can claim that there are logical explanations for every claim or account. I have studied the Bible and what others have written about the Bible. I like yourself have many questions. What I have concluded is that the Bible does the best job in explaining man's struggle to find truth and the meaning of life. I also have done graduate studies in psychology and human behavior. The constant reality about humans is that they ultimately have 'faith' in some religion or system of thought. I have also studied in great detail all the great religions and philosophy's.

I have come to the conclusion that the story of redemption in the Scripture is the greatest epic of all time. Yes I still have questions. Yes I still wonder why God operates the way He does. But at the end of the day my money is on the truth of the Gospel. What bothers me is that so many "so called" Christians have not studied History and philosophy along with theology. They blindly believe what they are told by a preacher. I have been preaching for forty years. I have always instructed my congregation to doubt everything I say and check it out for themselves.

I respect the fact that you have taken the time to question not just what you were taught but why you should or should not embrace it.

Mike

So happy you are back! I missed your bloggings.

So glad to see you're back! Just read your fabulous post on exchristian.net about pat robertson and somehow knew it was you before i even tracked back to find the byline!

Thanks for the truth speak. Why is it that Christians don't see the Bible as the problem? I've heard my mother recently bemoaning why anyone would have a problem with Christianity when it is a religion of love and kindness-- and I reminded her that her religion proposes an end to the world that includes her God blowing up everyone who doesn't believe like she does, and that this includes me. She didn't have an answer to that, although I know her level of indoctrination makes it conscionable to say something like "But all you have to do is believe and it won't happen to you!"

Ahhh... family love!

Angela,

Thanks for the comment.

Good to see your comment here.

Bruce

So glad you're back, Bruce. You were missed!

Thanks Lynn.

Good to see your name in the comments.

Bruce

I didn't comment much on your previous blog, but I read it a lot. I think you're extremely courageous. As a former pastor's wife who is wandering herself, I appreciate finding someone else who is picking up the pieces of their evangelical/dogmatic upbringing, and trying to see life, religion, etc., in a new way, dragging our baggage behind us (and hopefully lightening that load as we go).

Glad to see you're back.

R-Liz,

Thanks for your kind comment.

The baggage does get lighter. Still way too heavy for me but not as heavy as a year ago.

Bruce

Bruce, Glad to see you are blogging again. Congrats!

FYI: Frank Scaheffer has a new book out entitled "Patience With God: Faith For People Who Don't Like Religion (or Atheism)." As an ex-evangelical you would find it interesting. Also, Schaeffer has a link on his web site of a lecture he gave at UCLA on the same topic.

Oh, yea, Happy New Year!

Peace, Larry

Thanks Larry!!

I will have to check out Frank's latest book. I really enjoyed Crazy for God.

Bruce