Restless Wanderings

Let’s face it. Christian men are a bunch of pussies. They have allowed the feminists to take over the Church and now the men in the  Church have become a bunch of latte sipping, weak muscled, small dick, little boys. Flowered shirt wearing preachers are the worst.

This problem must be fixed immediately. If left unchallenged women might actually take over the pulpit, the boardroom, and the bedroom and expect equality.

So what’s the answer?

Wait for it.

Here it comes.

Christian MMA.

Yep, that’s the answer. Time to turn all those little boys into ass kicking, ear deforming, blood letting, marital arts specialists. (disclaimer: this is not an attack on MMA, boxing, and martial arts)

The New York Times reports:

In the back room of a theater on Beale Street, John Renken, 42, a pastor, recently led a group of young men in prayer.

Before the Cage Assault bout in Memphis, Mr. Lane got his hands taped by Pastor John Renken of Xtreme Ministries.

“Father, we thank you for tonight,” he said. “We pray that we will be a representation of you.”

An hour later, a member of his flock who had bowed his head was now unleashing a torrent of blows on an opponent, and Mr. Renken was offering guidance that was not exactly prayerful.

“Hard punches!” he shouted from the sidelines of a martial arts event called Cage Assault. “Finish the fight! To the head! To the head!”

The young man was a member of a fight team at Xtreme Ministries, a small church near Nashville that doubles as a mixed martial arts academy. Mr. Renken, who founded the church and academy, doubles as the team’s coach. The school’s motto is “Where Feet, Fist and Faith Collide.”

Mr. Renken’s ministry is one of a small but growing number of evangelical churches that have embraced mixed martial arts — a sport with a reputation for violence and blood that combines kickboxing, wrestling and other fighting styles — to reach and convert young men, whose church attendance has been persistently low. Mixed martial arts events have drawn millions of television viewers, and one was the top pay-per-view event in 2009.

Recruitment efforts at the churches, which are predominantly white, involve fight night television viewing parties and lecture series that use ultimate fighting to explain how Christ fought for what he believed in. Other ministers go further, hosting or participating in live events.

The goal, these pastors say, is to inject some machismo into their ministries — and into the image of Jesus — in the hope of making Christianity more appealing. “Compassion and love — we agree with all that stuff, too,” said Brandon Beals, 37, the lead pastor at Canyon Creek Church outside of Seattle. “But what led me to find Christ was that Jesus was a fighter.”

The outreach is part of a larger and more longstanding effort on the part of some ministers who fear that their churches have become too feminized, promoting kindness and compassion at the expense of strength and responsibility.

“The man should be the overall leader of the household,” said Ryan Dobson, 39, a pastor and fan of mixed martial arts who is the son of James C. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, a prominent evangelical group. “We’ve raised a generation of little boys.”

These pastors say the marriage of faith and fighting is intended to promote Christian values, quoting verses like “fight the good fight of faith” from Timothy 6:12. Several put the number of churches taking up mixed martial arts at roughly 700 of an estimated 115,000 white evangelical churches in America. The sport is seen as a legitimate outreach tool by the youth ministry affiliate of the National Association of Evangelicals, which represents more than 45,000 churches…

…Yet even among more experimental sects, mixed martial arts has critics.

“What you attract people to Christ with is also what you need to get people to stay,” said Eugene Cho, 39, a pastor at Quest Church, an evangelical congregation in Seattle. “I don’t live for the Jesus who eats red meat, drinks beer and beats on other men…”

…Over the past year and a half, a subculture has evolved, with Christian mixed martial arts clothing brands like Jesus Didn’t Tap (in the sport, “tap” means to give up) and Christian social networking Web sites like Anointedfighter.com…

…Roughly 100 young men, many sporting shaved heads and tattoos, attend fight parties at Canyon Creek near Seattle, watching bouts on the church’s four big-screen televisions. Vendors hustle hot dogs and “Predestined to Fight” T-shirts. About half are not church members but heard about the parties through friends, said Mr. Beals, who is known as the Fight Pastor.

Men ages 18 to 34 are absent from churches, some pastors said, because churches have become more amenable to women and children. “We grew up in a church that had pastel pews,” said Tom Skiles, 37, the pastor of Spirit of St. Louis Church in Arnold, Mo. “The men fell asleep…”

So women are the problem but who is it that is running the Church? MEN.

Men don’t come to Church? Who is at fault? The women. Now, once again who is running the Church? MEN.

Men should be offended and incensed that they are reduced to a Tarzan caricature.

I am a man’s man. I am a jock. I love sports. I used to hunt. I like porn. (oops scratch that) I believe in standing up for my family and protecting them. I am not afraid to threaten violence when needed, especially when cut off in traffic. 

Yet, I cry easily. I love chick flicks. I like a good book. (real men don’t read) I don’t like violent movies. I don’t like MMA or boxing.

Instead of promoting a homogenous view of men in the Church how about allowing men to be themselves, with all their contradictions.

I have talked to more than a few men who are sickened by the macho men approach many pastors and churches are adopting . They don’t fit the macho man mold. They LIKE silk underwear. They don’t know who won what game when or where. They couldn’t tell you the difference between a foul shot and a slap shot.

Yet, they are men. Real men. Men who love their families, their wife, their children. They support their parents. They respect their neighbors and love their fellow man.

Manhood is not defined by who you beat the shit out of.